Panthers enjoy night off, smack around Flyers 4-1 just for fun

Ever seen the movie "Black Christmas?" It's about a crazed serial killer stalking a sorority house during the holiday season. If you're looking for a little bit of Christmas cheer, I'd recommend skipping the next Flyers game and watching this bad boy. I promise it will be significantly less of a downer. Hell, at this point I'd rather watch the godawful remake, "Black X-mas" then have to sit through another night of the Flyers skating in circles while the opposition plays their best game of the year.

I missed last night's "game" because I finally decided to do a little Christmas shopping. No hurry or anything, right? That said, I caught some of it one the radio as I traveled from mall to mall and followed it a bit on my cell phone when I could. Seeing as though I didn't actually watch the mess unfold, I'll try and keep this brief.

Everything went almost according to the script for the orange and black last night as they fell to the visiting Florida Panthers 4-1 in a rough affair.

• Give up the game's first goal in the game's first five minutes: Check. Nathan Horton scored at 4:53, close but they pulled it off.
• Give up as many power play goals as you possibly can: Check. Florida went 3 for 8 with the man advantage. Sure they could have scored a few more, but still pretty good. I mean, they're not the Capitals after all.
• Do nothing with your own Power Plays: Check. Flyers went a laughable 0-8 with the extra man. The only thing missing was giving up a shorthanded goal. Oh well. They tried at least.
• Turn the Penalty Box into your own personal clown car: Check. Flyers gave the Panthers an eight power plays. Ian Laperriere put Dan Carcillo to shame with a remarkable 30 PIM performance last night, though I'll give him a pass for it. I mean, the guy took a puck to the face a few weeks ago and fights THREE times in one game? If the rest of the team had that level of commitment, we wouldn't be having this conversation. With his double minor for high-sticking, Danny Briere continued his quest to usurp Scott Hartnell's title of the Clown Prince of the NHL. Earlier in the game, Hartnell demonstrated his desire to keep the title, when seconds after drawing a Flyers power play he took a lazy penalty and negated it.
• Dominate the third period due to an indifferent opponent and then announce after the game it was something to build on: Minus. Florida, still seething as a result of Mike Richards hit on David Booth from two months ago had no intentions of letting the indifferent Flyers off the hook in the third and scored twice to the Flyers once.
• Get booed off the ice after every period: Check. This one doesn't need much explanation really.
• Get Shut out: Minus. They tried their best but Braydon Coburn ruined everything when he scored his fifth goal of the year to cut the lead to a mere three goals at the 13:47 mark of the final period.

Well, that's about it. Goalie Brian Boucher (11 saves on 13 shots) left the game early in the second period with a finger injury that will likely keep him out of Wednesday's game against the Tampa Bay Lightning. Not that it will matter really. As mediocre as the goaltending as been at times this season, this team doesn't score anymore. No goalie would have success here, its just that simple. Back-up Michael Leighton finished the game, making 15 saves on 17 shots and will get the start on Wednesday.

So there you go. The NHL roster freeze ends on Dec. 27 and the Winter Classic will be held in Boston on Jan. 1. If this ship is righted soon, the Flyers will be humiliated on national TV in the event that is currently a bigger deal then the Stanley Cup amongst casual fans. The only time the NHL receives more attention from the national media is when something bad happens, so unless Dan Carcillo snaps and kills someone soon, this is as big as it gets for the entire sport.

What a position the Flyers are in. Second worst team in the NHL and playing in the league's biggest event. The only question remains is what happens if the Flyers come out and stink up the joint? You know, the usual? Is it possible that they are so bad that they could kill the Winter Classic? Could they scare away the casual fans who watch that day forever with their atrocious brand of "hockey," driving home the final nail in the NHL's TV coffin?

Can they not only kill THEIR season, but ruin things for the rest of the league as well, like some type of putrid super virus? The answer is obvious, right now the Flyers are more dangerous to the NHL then Swine Flu and the Bubonic Plaque combined...